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Dec 15-16, 2002

Trapped Behind Closed Gates

From Famous to Infamous in Los Angeles

Manfred P.

Keywords: USA, California, Los Angeles, Hollywood, Griffith Observatory, Venice Beach, tourist, travel trip report, travel log, travelogue.

Venice Beach

For 4 years I had the pleasure to live in Southern California, Orange County to be exact. It is now 10 years that I moved out. Whenever I get an opportunity, about every two or three years, I return to Southern California to visit old friends.

This time two friends from Spain joined me and we had a couple of days for sight seeing in Greater Los Angeles. Our first destination was Venice Beach. It was a sunny morning. Sunday. 67 degrees (18C). We took the bikes from Venice to Santa Monica. I already had forgotten how close it is. Instead of my estimated 40 minutes we go there in 20. Despite the fact that it was Sunday and the waves were high there were no surfers in sight. We strolled to the end of Santa Monica Pier. A juggler balanced a bike on his head as the small crowd watched on. Behind the artist a sailboat slowly worked its way across the ocean and sea gulls glided through the salty air. Nothing really has changed here. It is just like I recall it from my last visit.

After lunch in a beach walk restaurant it slowly got livelier on Venice Beach. In the morning it was calm and now in the early afternoon it picked up a bit. More people were mingling on the beach walk. The faces here haven't changed in 10 years. I remember seeing an electric guitar playing rollerblader wearing a turban and a white toga 10 years ago. When my girl friend returned from a visit to Venice she showed me photos and there he was again: the same guy in the same garb, still playing his red electric guitar. Today I was on the lookout for him again. We were not disappointed. Sure enough, he was out here again, doing what he does every day for more than 10 years.

Besides the well known rollerblading turban guy there was a half-naked snake guy. We weren't quite sure if the snakes he was wearing around his shoulders were rubber snakes or real ones. If they weren't made of rubber they at least were so lethargic that the difference between alive and dead was minimal. Another guy made his money by jumping onto broken glass from freshly broken wine and liquor bottles. Again, I think this is the same guy that has worked this beach a decade ago. Then there was an anti- Bush peace demonstration. A total of a dozen people followed it as they played Lennon's "Imagine" and marched down the beach walk.

Around Hollywood

The next day, the weather had changed completely. We drove around Beverly Hills and I showed my friends the houses of the rich and famous. From Beverly Hills and the Beverly Hills Hotel we crossed over to Hollywood via the Mulholland Drive. The road winds itself along the crest of the Hollywood Hills. Along the way there are good views of the famous "Hollywood" sign and Griffith Observatory.

Hollywood we did on foot. To our surprise we even saw a rich and famous. Michael J. Fox. Incidentally exactly when we were there was his star inauguration. First spoke the mayor of Hollywood, then the producer or director of the "Back to the Future" movies. I didn't know this guy, but apparently this person also did "Forrest Gump". Then at last, Michael J. Fox himself stood up and gave a speech. He is not what I call a quality speaker. Not sure if this is just him, or if this has to do with his Parkinson disease. Anyway, his speech was chaotic and I had no patience to hear it to the end.

We left the TV news crews behind and went for a bite hoping that by the time we come out of the restaurant again that the light rain would be gone. But the opposite happened. As we stepped out of the restaurant it poured cats and dogs. It was really bad. The water was dashing down Hollywood Boulevard and next to the side walk the puddles were two inches deep. Even running across the street was enough to get wet. To stay out of the rain we went from store to store, but all sell the same tourist kitsch and identical souvenirs. The visit to Mann's Chinese Theater to see the foot and hand imprints was obligatory.

Our last stop was the "Hollywood Entertainment Museum". The guidebook called it "a great high-tech presentation of the history of film making" and used other highly positive words. Well, I have a different word for it: overpriced and overrated tourist trap. First the rain poured through the ceiling and buckets had to be put in several places to catch the rain. Second a 15-minute movie entitled "Smoking in the movies" sponsored by the American Tobacco Association was one of the 6 exhibits that make up the museum. Given the fact that the entrance fee is $8.75 and that there are only 6 exhibits, that means that you pay nearly $1.50 to see a 15-minute commercial for smoking. Isn't that great!

Another one of the "high-tech" exhibitions is a 5-minute movie consisting of bits-and- pieces of movies. This is like zapping at home. Changing the channel every 5 seconds on your cable gives you about the same effect. I am not sure what is "high-tech" about it and I also don't know why you are supposed to pay an entrance fee for something like this.

Next was a visit to the sound room. Here you and 11 other "thrilled" guests are given the opportunity to make sound effects to an absolute boring 2-minute movie. Sound effects include: walking, knocking on a door, dropping a pen on a desk, turning a door knob and the fabulous opening of a mailbox. After you have produced these advanced and exciting specialty sound effects you get to hear them too. Isn't that wonderful?

But wait there is more to come. The fourth exhibit is the blue-screen room. The audience is wowed a person stands in front of a blue screen and the computer takes a snapshot. The computer by magic then gets rid of the blue color and the magician (museum staff) shows you how you can take this person and on a computer can put this person in front of every other image such as the Hollywood sign. Thank you very much, but I did more advanced digital imaging stuff on my home PC years ago. They might have forgotten that we do live in the ago of digital cameras and photo imaging PC software. The camera shop across the street most likely can give me a more interesting demo.

After all this absolute rubbish at least came something somewhat interesting. We got to see and touch a recreated Starship Enterprise command center fully equipped with three chairs, several plastic panels and a video screen. Next a recreated version of Molder's office from the X-Files, and lastly the highlight: The real set from Cheers. The real bar that used to be used for the Cheers series. I liked it! I got to sit down where Norm used to take his beer. The guide explained that once a week the bar opens in the evening and you can order and drink beer as you watch the football game on TV.

My advice for you: Forget the museum. Find out what evening the Cheers bar opens and go there to sip a beer. This way you save yourself from a lot of disappointment. Because the only thing that's good about this museum is its marketing!

Griffith Park and Observatory

One of my personal favorites is Griffith Observatory. The planetary show is nice and I have fond memories of the views of LA by night. As it got dark, somewhere around 5 pm we drove there. I knew that there are certain opening hours so I looked for the sign carefully. It said 5am to 10 pm. Since we just wanted to have a quick look at the night skyline of LA we would be out of the park before 6pm. Hence there would be no problem. We had plenty of time. So, we drove passed the gate. We knew that the observatory itself is closed for restoration. Supposedly it is closed already for some 3 months and will stay closed for a few more. As we drove uphill in the park we saw a Park Ranger vehicle parked on the side of the road facing the opposite direction. As we slowly drove by he said something through the speaker. I couldn't hear it. One of the words might have been "closed". I didn't think much of it though. As we drove another half mile sure enough there was a road block. The road was closed. Maybe he tried to tell us that further up the road has been closed. There was no real reason, but I figured this is LA. Whenever it rains here everyone panics. Most likely they have closed the road because it was raining. We parked the car at the upper gate and walked 5 minutes to the top to get a good view of wide spread city. Square mile after square mile of lights were to our feet. It was not as fascinating as it was to me 1988 when I stood here for the first time. But still it was nice. The air was fresh and the smog washed away by the rain. Five minutes was enough to enjoy the view and within minutes we headed back.

As we got to the lower gate it was locked. Surprise! It was 5:40pm and it is supposed to be open till 10pm. The sign next to the gate spelled that out pretty clearly. Funny. I looked around a bit, but there was no way to squeeze by the gate on the side. We were trapped. The road was blocked off uphill and now it was also blocked here at the entrance. There was no way out! We found a note on a coke vending machine: Park Ranger Emergency Service and a phone number. I ring them up and a woman, presumably in a call center, picks up the phone. I tell her that I am in Griffith Park, that I want to leave and that I found the gate locked. She asked me, "What's your exact location? Street name?" I respond: "I am a tourist. I do not know the street name. This is the main entrance towards the south of Griffith Park." She continues, "That can't be, the south entrance is open." "Well, I drove in here about 30 minutes ago. It was open then. Now I am trying to get out and found it locked. There is a chain and a padlock on it. It is locked." The lady's voice replied, "You must be at the wrong gate. The principal gate is open." "Well, as I said, I am not an expert. But to my knowledge this is the principal gate in the south. This is the main gate that anyone would take when coming from Hollywood. I drove in here 30 minutes ago. I turned around near the top and drove the very same road back. As far as I could see there was no other road. This is the only way out." She says, "Hold on". For two minutes there is silence. Then she comes back with, "Can we call you back?" "Call me back? Well, I have no cell phone, I am trapped here, so the only possibility would be to call me on this public phone." "Ok, give me the phone number of that public phone." "Mmmh, this is easier said than done. On the cradle where one would usually place the phone number there is nothing. I can't see any phone number anywhere. There is a number on the very bottom on the right, but it might or might not be the phone number of this public phone. It looks a bit like this is the phone number to call to report problems with this phone." "Give me the number please." "Ok. But as I said, I can't be sure that this is really the phone number of this public phone. But anyway the number is: ..." She takes note and says, "Hold the line please." Again it is quiet for 2 minutes. When she comes back she just says "Wait there we will send someone. <Click>." The line was dead.

We have no choice but to wait. After 5 minutes lights show up and a car drives towards the gate. In front of the gate he turns around. It is an Audi, obviously not the car of a park ranger, just another tourist who has realized that the gate is locked and who turned around. False alarm. We wait a few more minutes and a truck drives up. This is a park ranger. He has a serious look on his face and his first words are: "Are you the driver?" I respond with a polite "Yes". He immediately continues: "Drivers license and ID". "I am a tourist and drove in here just 30 minutes ago and now it is locked." He doesn't get into that; he just repeats "Drivers license and ID". Since my California drivers license was stolen recently, it would not be such a good idea to show him my expired drivers license. This seems to be a situation to show my Austrian drivers license which is also valid in the US. While I get my wallet out I explain to him, "I am Austrian, I am here on sight seeing, here is my Austrian drivers license" and hand him the pink document. He looks at it, turns it around, and has a closer look in the light of his truck's headlights and says "This is a driver's license?" I am not surprised by that response. For Americans the size is unusual, it is also not a piece of plastic, but paper and on top of it, it has not a single word of English on it. "Yes, this is what we have as driver's license. It might look unusual, but this is the official driver's license and it has my picture and name on it." Pointing at our vehicle he asked, "Whose truck is that?" "This is the truck of a friend of mine. He borrowed it to us for the day." "What's your friend's name?" I tell him the name. He continues "I was told to give you a ticket!" "A ticket?" "Yes, she instructed me to give you a ticket." "But I haven't done anything wrong. As a matter of fact I was very careful. I read the signs in detail and they say that the park is open for public use and vehicles from 5am till 10pm. I am a tourist and we drove in here just 30 minutes ago. Then it was still open. We had a brief look at the city from the hill. Took a couple of pictures and as we tried to drive back out again we found the gate closed to our big surprise." "You have been to leave immediately!" "Huh? Sorry, but we have not been told to leave. Who supposedly should have told us that?" "The park ranger has told you to leave immediately." "Ah, yes, it is true we have seen a park ranger. I saw a white truck on the side of the road and I assumed it would a park ranger as he had something written on the side and it looked like an official car. Yes, I even heard him say something. But, I had no idea that he was talking to me. He said something through his speakers, but I had no idea that this was directed to me. Secondly, I could not make out any words. By no means did he communicate to me that we need to leave immediately. He didn't communicate. Having read the official sign that says it open till 10pm I have to assume that is open until 10 pm. I have acted as best as I could." In this tone we talk back and forth. He told me that the park has been closed due to rain. Eventually he says "Okay, I will make an exception this time. Watch out more the next time." "Thank you officer. I appreciate your understanding." He opens the gate and we drive out.

As we are a few miles away I explain the discussion to my friends who have heard it only partially sitting in the truck. Anyway, the first park ranger who has seen us drive up was a real jerk. He wanted to screw us as hard as he could. He sees us driving up. He is too lazy to get out of his truck to stop us and to communicate to us face to face. Instead he stays in the warm truck. He knows that half a mile up the road is closed, he closed it himself most likely. He is also too lazy to drive behind us to inform us that he wants to close the park. He was sitting there in his truck for hours. He hasn't seen a single tourist so he decides to go home early. Why wait till 10 pm if there are no tourists? When he sees us drive by he is pissed because I do not realize he is talking to me and do not understand his mumbled words about "something closed" and do not stop. So, he decides to screw us, knowing that the road is closed uphill, he drives downhill and locks the gate there as well and then instructs the call center or his colleagues to give us a ticket. What for? He could have stopped us with his truck. He didn't do it. He could have stepped out of the truck and stopped us in person. He didn't do that. He didn't want to get wet. He could have informed us at the upper road crossing. He didn't do that. That would have been two minutes of work to drive there. While park rangers are generally really nice guys and very helpful all around, this person is a real <fill in nasty word here>. My friend suggested half jokingly that I should have threatened to take him and the Park Ranger station to court for violation of my personal freedom, restriction of movement, unlawful detainment, and similar items.

Let's just say that this time the gentle way worked and I could weasel my way out of it. But I am also sure, that if I give him my California driver's license I would have gotten a ticket without doubt. Fairness is a very relative thing!